|The Spice Rack|
By Dorotha Schaefer
Note: Our “Spice Girl,” Dortha Schaefer, is still recovering from a move to a new apartment. For your enjoyment, we are reprinting some “best of” items from previous Spice Racks.
From our agriculture correspondent comes this bit of whimsy and has to do with those fuzzy caterpillars that crawl along the sidewalk this time of year and are used by many to forecast the coming state of the winter.
Two of the creatures were crawling by, while overhead two butterflies flitted about in the sunshine. One worm said to the other worm, while observing the flight, “You’ll never get me in one of those contraptions!”
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The world is full of interesting people. Part of the fun of living is watching and listening to one’s fellow men, and women, too. John reports watching a very young man doing something strange while waiting for his ride home from work on an evening this fall.
A boy that he judged to be in junior high walked past carrying, of all things, a shiny 10-speed lightweight bicycle on his shoulders.
When John asked him why he was carrying it instead of riding it in the way most people do, the kid replied, “Well, I don’t want to wear it out.”
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Linda reports, “The quieter the kids get, the quicker I go to the game room to find out what television show they are watching.”
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“It is now time for the great When-Is-Indian-Summer debate to begin as it does every fall. Everyone has to do something to keep from dwelling on the coming of winter,” says Maude Mopp, harried housewife.
“As the foliage changes, and cold winds replace the torrid humidity of summer, argument goes on as to the exact time for the arrival of golden days of Indian Summer.
“One determined reader of the Rack insisted to me that ‘I.S.’ arrives shortly after the first killing frost. Others say the usual time is November, right after everyone has decided that winter is here. A friend told me it comes the day after she puts her yard furniture away.
“I am not so concerned with the coming of Indian Summer as I am with the going of it,” sighs Maude.
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If you are worried about an IRS audit of your tax returns, you need to avoid what’s called a Red Flag. For example, say you have some money left in your bank account after paying your taxes – that is a Red Flag.
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With the coming of October the scenery around us is decorated for Halloween. Yards sprout imitation grave stones, scarecrows, ghosts, spiders and their webs and the popular black cats.
Groucho Marx once said, “A black cat crossing your path signifies that the animal is going somewhere.” Groucho is also quoted as having said, in this season of the coming elections, “All people are born alike - except for Republicans and Democrats.”
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Insurance companies receive amusing excuses for accidents, doctors give what turn out to be amusing reports of patients’ illnesses, interoffice memos sometimes don’t make a lot of sense but are good for laughs. And some rib-tickling items appear in the nation’s newspapers. These examples are from recent headlines: Teacher Strikes Idle Kids ... Two Sisters are United After 18 Years at Checkout Counter ... Red Tape Holds Up New Bridges ... Police Begin Campaign to Run Down Jaywalkers ... If Strike Isn’t Settled Quickly It May Last Awhile ... Drunk Gets Nine Months In Violin Case ... Man Struck By Lightning Faces Battery Charge.
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Are you looking for Indian Summer, riding your bike, or reading headlines? Tell us, we’ll tell everybody.
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